Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.

What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.

People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.

Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.