Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.

Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.

Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.

When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.

I think we have to acknowledge that people are different and succeed at different things, first of all. Men are better than women at some professions like firefighting, construction work, and physics. But women are better than men at some professions, too, like elementary teaching, prostitution, and giving birth. Who's to say which is more important?

I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?