People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.

Yeah i thought about making the character of JD gay... But then i thought, but what about all the poor girls dreams you'll be crushing

It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.

They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.