Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.