I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

You mean in the state?