I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

You always catch the wrong players.