If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.