Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

Fighting fire with fire only gets you ashes!

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to "prove their love" like a moose needs a hat rack.

So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!

There is no end to the undeserved misery and mischief it could create.

Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.

While forbidden fruit is said to taste sweeter, it usually spoils faster.