Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam CarollaWhen you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam CarollaYou're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
Adam Carolla