If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.