I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.