You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.