My first car was a motorcycle.

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.