My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well. Paz taught me a few words that, if people weren't nice to me, I could tell them a few things. I got to study with [chef] Thomas Keller, who we all love as a guy and Jim had a relationship with him at [his restaurant] the French Laundry.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

I bought my parents some stuff. That feels kind of good to be able to do that. I got them a place in Florida. I think I'm allowed to say that - I hope my dad doesn't get mad at me. But I don't spend money on myself. I don't like myself enough yet. But the people I love, I like spending the cash on them.