My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.