I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it's just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]

My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.