Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.

I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?

I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they're $4 million in the hole.