When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

I was a big fan of Kurt Russell growing up and I always wanted to be the modern day Kurt Russell.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well.

I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.