I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron.

I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

I can't run a company... I can't even run my own life!

I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hug me for.