I'm the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

I really do know football.

Successful people just don't let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I'd have people come up to me after my shows, and they'd say they want to do stand-up but are scared they're going to fail. I'd tell them, "You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures."

I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.

Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.