I'm a music fan, and I can listen to the radio, or music, without thinking, "How am I going to screw this up?" [Laughs] If I'm really actively trying to think of a parody, then I'll have my antenna out, and be a little more proactive about it.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.