As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you'll be watching TV, and it'll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you'll actually find yourself thinking, 'I don't want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to 'The Flintstones'?'

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.