People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.

Well I've made no secret of my life long love of MAD Magazine, it's probably my first and greatest influence in terms of my comic sensibilities. I've known John [Ficarra] for many years, and we've been friends. About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

When I was a kid, I thought I was going to be an architect, because when I was 12 years old I had a guidance counselor that convinced me that that was the best career choice for me.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.