There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I've been able to hang around longer than most "serious" acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.

As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it's been a huge promotional tool for me.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.