There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

I was a huge fan of 'Mad' magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I'd scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I'd wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.