He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

It's hard to say, I picked one of my favorite articles for the MAD vault. Which is one of the features of the Magazine so they don't have to actually pay artists or writers to come up with new stuff.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.

My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.

I can't get too offended when somebody parodies me.

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.