My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

You fake something until you're good at it.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.