My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.

That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.