My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.

I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.