As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.