I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'