You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."