My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."

Modesty is not one of my virtues.