My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.