I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.

I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.