Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.