And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.