Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan KingLet's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan KingI don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan KingMy mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan KingWhen I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King