You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.

Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.