Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.

My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.

When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.