Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.

One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'