If you say you had a zen moment, you already didn't.

You are not special. There is no plan for you. Nothing happens for a reason. Just try not to die and shut up.

The internet makes everything not enough.

Hearing the faraway sounds of children at recess makes me understand that I am no longer life's main character.

When I make fun of you, I strike just the right note. When you make fun of me, you're an incredibly ungrateful asshole and you know why.

Everyone's the anti-Teddy Roosevelt. Speak loudly and carry a brittle twig.

There's something great about terrible westerns. They look like gay dancers and bad, overwrought dialogue and overacting, black and white sped up horses.