It's always dangerous when boring people think they're creative.

There's something great about terrible westerns. They look like gay dancers and bad, overwrought dialogue and overacting, black and white sped up horses.

When I make fun of you, I strike just the right note. When you make fun of me, you're an incredibly ungrateful asshole and you know why.

Everyone's the anti-Teddy Roosevelt. Speak loudly and carry a brittle twig.

Just because you're an avid reader doesn't mean you're an avid understander.

You are not special. There is no plan for you. Nothing happens for a reason. Just try not to die and shut up.

The internet makes everything not enough.