When I make fun of you, I strike just the right note. When you make fun of me, you're an incredibly ungrateful asshole and you know why.

Hearing the faraway sounds of children at recess makes me understand that I am no longer life's main character.

When I make fun of you, I strike just the right note. When you make fun of me, you're an incredibly ungrateful asshole and you know why.

Everyone's the anti-Teddy Roosevelt. Speak loudly and carry a brittle twig.

It always seems that people who bring nothing to the table take the most from it.

There's something great about terrible westerns. They look like gay dancers and bad, overwrought dialogue and overacting, black and white sped up horses.

His lie ability is an asset