PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.