Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.