REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.