While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. "The Mad Philosopher," 1697

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.