While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

FRYING-PAN, n. One part of the penal apparatus employed in that punitive institution, a woman's kitchen. The frying-pan was invented by Calvin, and by him used in cooking span-long infants that had died without baptism; and observing one day the horrible torment of a tramp who had incautiously pulled a fried babe from the waste-dump and devoured it, it occurred to the great divine to rob death of its terrors by introducing the frying-pan into every household in Geneva. Thence it spread to all corners of the world, and has been of invaluable assistance in the propagation of his sombre faith.

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.