OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.