Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.