History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.