Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.