Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.