That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.