Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.

EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.