Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.