EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.

PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.