Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.