WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.

An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.